And Now, Some Happier News About Nursing Homes…

It strikes me that a lot of my posts this week about long-term care have been “bad news,” especially regarding nursing homes.  It is a good time for me to share a much happier view from a daughter who first wrote to me about her fears as an adult daughter — with health care concerns of her own — living 3,000 miles away from her father, who at 90+ was in crisis and needed daily help, but was unable to afford it.  

Her dad had a local person as an agent, a long-time friend’s child who held “power of attorney.” But that individual seemed overwhelmed.  When the daughter wrote to me, I encouraged her to talk to her father, who still had capacity.  Four months later, the daughter wrote back to give the results, including the very good news that her father was happier. She gave me permission to share details here:

“Since last September … I was able to get my father completely on Medicaid and everything went through well with his application, etc.  He got accepted the first time!  I hear that can be rare. Additionally, my Dad met with his attorney and revised his POA, making me his agent and allowing me to do many things, even from afar.

Dad’s very happy now and quite healthy (at age 91) in his new skilled nursing home environment in Pennsylvania.  Even from 3,000 miles away, I am still very connected to him, as well as the wonderful staff at the nursing home.  My Dad is now 3rd generation of his family to stay at that same nursing home. Additionally, he now has the company of his youngest sister, my Aunt, who has been at the home for the last 10 years.  They are together and enjoying each other’s company every day.”

A short time later, the daughter wrote again:

“I have such peace of mind, and heart, knowing this is the right place for Dad, plus, he has so much more socialization now and is no long isolated and all alone in his apartment where he was before.  (I no longer lay awake every night worried about him with knots in my stomach.) Plus, I forgot to mention the facility has a resident dog on site, a golden retriever named ‘Magoo,’ and, boy, does he brighten everyone’s day.”

This daughter’s words are an important reminder that the “right” place, including the right nursing home, can make dramatic improvement in the lives of older persons, especially where frailty and isolation are the concerns. Thank you, Patti, for sharing your “happier” news.

Postscript:  Patti allowed us to share a photo of her and her father, and the story of their relationship is written in their smiles.