If You Made a List, What Would You Do Differently When You are Older?

I was reading the article, Things I’ll Do Differently When I’m Old, in the New York Times.  The author writes about a do and not do list.  What is this type of list? “It was a highly judgmental, and super secret, accounting of all the things I thought my parents were doing wrong. . .  It was all too easy to call them out, and I recognized over and over just how awful it is to become feeble, sick and increasingly absent-minded, or worse.” 

Why such a list? According to the author, it arose out of watching the impact of their poor decisions on his parents. For example, his mother continued driving past the time of her capability or his father’s refusal to use an assistive mobility device.  Learning from our elders’ “mistakes” is nothing new, but making a list that applies specifically to one’s older age is an interesting concept. Wonder what is on the author’s list?  Items include driving ability, accepting help to maintain independence,  maintaining physical appearance, not lash out at others and treat them with respect and kindness. 

The author notes that his grandmother had a similarly intended list that he found going through his dad’s papers.  He concludes “I certainly hope to learn from her errors, and my parents’, and avoid making too many of my own. Mostly I hope to be able to judge when to stop adding to the list, and start following its advice.”