Husband’s “Constant Kissing” of Wife in Care Home Leads to Court
One of our readers in England sent an item from The Independent, about a dispute between a husband and a publically-operated care home where his wife lives:
An 87-year-old man is taking Derby City Council to court after being told he must stop “constantly” kissing his wife, who has dementia, in order to continue visiting. Thomas Middleton said he has “lost the will to live” after care home staff told him to stop “constantly” kissing his wife Joan, 84, when he visits.
Mr Middleton has been made to sign an eight-point agreement to continue seeing her, which says he can only kiss his wife of 67 years once on arrival and once on departure. Mr Middleton’s daily two-hour visits are supervised by staff after a court in 2012 ruled that his wife lacked the capacity to make decisions on her needs.
The rules came after a review claimed he was “constantly kissing, pulling and poking his wife, which she protests about.” The review also said Mr Middleton became “nastier and nastier” if she did not respond to him. Care home staff reported feeling intimidated by Mr Middleton, while there were also concerns that he would not return his wife if she were allowed a visit home.
Mr Middleton disputes this criticism as inaccurate: “I’ve done nothing to my wife. I love her so much. I don’t want to leave her.”
In sending us this piece, our reader commented about the troubling fact that this matter has degenerated to the point where parties are going to court, noting the similarity in theme with the Rayhons case in Iowa.