NYT editorials explains how current health care system affects families

August 30, 2009

“Critics fret that health care reform would undermine American family values, not least by convening somber death panels to wheel away Grandma as if she were Old Yeller.

Butpeel away the emotions and fearmongering, and in fact it is theexisting system that unnecessarily takes lives and breaks apartfamilies.

My friend M. — you’ll understand in a moment why she’sterrified of my using her name — had to make a searing decision a yearago. She was married to a sweet, gentle man whom she loved, but who hadbecome increasingly absent-minded. Finally, he was diagnosed withearly-onset dementia.

The disease is degenerative, and he willbecome steadily less able to care for himself. At some point, as hismedical needs multiply, he will probably need to be institutionalized.

Thehospital arranged a conference call with a social worker, who outlinedhow the dementia and its financial toll on the family would progress,and then added, out of the blue: “Maybe you should divorce.”

“Iwas blown away,” M. told me. But, she said, the hospital staff membersexplained that they had seen it all before, many times. If M.’s husbandrequired long-term care, the costs would be catastrophic even for amiddle-class family with savings.

Eventually, after theexpenses whittled away their combined assets, her husband could go onMedicaid — but by then their children’s nest egg would be gone, alongwith her 401(k) plan. She would face a bleak retirement with neitherher husband nor her savings.

A complicating factor was that thiswas a second marriage. M.’s first husband had died, leaving aninheritance that he had intended for their children. She and her secondhusband had a prenuptial agreement, but that would not protect herassets from his medical expenses.”