Senior spends extravegently in his older years…
Ever since his retirement nearly a decade ago, area resident OscarSubitzky just hasn’t been the same. What began as a single,uncharacteristic extravagance—the payment of $15,000 for a coronaryangioplasty to expand his narrowing arterial wall—has given way to agrowing number of personal luxuries, from the latest brand-name heartmedications to the most advanced palliative care. The unusualdevelopments have led concerned family members to suspect that the onceprudent and conservative 74-year-old widower is undergoing an acuteend-life crisis.
“Sure, the operation seemed a little indulgent at first, but wecould tell it was really important to Dad, so we didn’t try to stop himfrom having it,” said daughter Martha Welsch, 46, who can stillremember when her father didn’t need “pricey doodads” likedefibrillators and cardiopulmonary-resuscitation devices to be content.”We all thought this was going to be a one-time thing, that it was justsomething Dad had to get out of his system, and then things would goback to normal,” she said.
“Unfortunately, one surgery quickly became two surgeries, which soonturned into three surgeries,” Welsch added. “That’s when we realizedthe whole thing was a lot more serious than Dad just wanting to get aclogged artery cleared.”
Read more in … The Onion, of course.
Thanks to Nate Hines….